Confession: I hate being still.
“If I am not busy, I make myself busy.” With a transition to a new job (in a foreign place) and mainly just my work comrades to keep me busy I often have lots of down time. I am getting back into the gym routine and training for another triathlon. I work hard, really hard (*I would like to think I always have worked hard), try to serve the body of Christ well and stay healthy and work on side projects. To be real honest: It’s a struggle to not find my worth in what I’m accomplishing each day. At the end of the day its fun to say, “hey look this is what I conquered today. this is what Matt Ayers had his hand on today.”
SH (in a recent blog post) reminded me of what Chelsea Steyn described herself in her devotional article “Working for Contentment”,
“work is one of God’s good gifts,” but “we are given gifts and abilities to use for the glory of God and in service to the church and community.
Working on my side projects and my job and my triathlon race aren’t bad things, in fact, they are good. The problem arises when they get the front row seat of my attention and my heart. (*ahem…. idolatry, you know that never ending giant, that always comes back. I am an idol factory)
Tim Keller writes in Counterfeit Gods of how idols are often good things: “The greater the good, the more likely we are to expect that it can satisfy our deepest needs and hopes… A counterfeit god is anything so central and essential to your life that, should you lose it, your life would feel hardly worth living.”
Steyn goes on: “This feverish pursuit of productivity is getting in the way of my ability to be still and spend time with the Lord.”
David Powlison in A Praying Life wrote ‘Efficiency, multitasking and busyness all kill intimacy. You can’t get to know God on the fly.’ I have to learn how to sit down with my hands still, to stop thinking about my next project and talk to God. I need to recognize my weakness, to wear it like a garment when I come before Him in prayer.”
My attempts at productivity will never satisfy me. Praise God that His grace is sufficient for me and that His power is made perfect in my abundance of weaknesses. So Lord, help me to find my value and my satisfaction from You, the Bread of Life.
